There are many ways to describe the multiplayer racing game Faaast Penguin. It's a cross between Fall Guys and Snowboard Kids. It's Diddy Kong Racing, but all the courses are water slides. It's Cool Runnings, but instead of four Jamaicans, it's 40 penguins. Okay, that last one is a bit of an exaggeration. But basically, yes, this brightly colored, free-to-play knockout racing game is like a Super Mario 64 level where you race the big penguin down a slide, only this time there are a bunch of other players trying to get past you to get to the secret shortcut. It's out next week.
Inspired by the combative ferocity of real-world penguins, players are encouraged to attack each other. You'll be launched into the air by bouncing off your opponent's rubbery body, gaining the height needed to reach some handy shortcuts. At one point, you'll also be able to activate a paraglider (hello Mario Kart) and board an Orca for a fierce boost. “The outcome of the race remains uncertain until the very end!” says developers Historia.
You can play as a party of four, and there’s cross-play with other platforms. I’m comparing this to the great obstacle course elimination game Fall Guys because those cartoony flightless birds seem to have the same cute, exuberant joy. You can also dress your penguin in a bunch of different costumes and unlock emojis, which I guess is how this free racing game makes money.
It's coming out September 19. “New courses and costumes will be added each season,” the developers say, but it's unclear how long those seasons will last. They also add one final stipulation: “An Epic Games account is required to play the game.” An immediate annoyance for some, I'm sure. But it's not a deal-breaker for me; I love penguins and would never do anything to harm them.