While I've been known to enjoy playing a few in my time, I tend to view most more casual simulation games the way I view sports games: they look good, but I could do them in real life too, if I were willing and also social and a bit flexible, rather than having a spine as flexible as a rib and a cheeky Nik Nak.
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Similarly, the currently released Steam TCG Card Shop Simulator — a third-person digitalization of a hobby within a hobby within a hobby — feels like the kind of thing that would make Baudrillard savagely shit himself. Still, as someone who often dreams of having a.) a killer deck, b.) a lot of wives, and c.) a good enough grasp of math to turn those wives into dust, I was intrigued enough to give it a shot. 20,000 concurrent players can't be wrong! We're, er, not talking about a banana game.
The basic idea is that you run a collectible card shop selling a TCG called Tetramon, branded as come-at-me-brotendo. You order a few boxes, hear a nice pop as you place booster packs on your shelf, set a price, then open the doors. Customers walk in, you check their orders, and I must say: I'm starting to understand why people love this. Every little movement, from scanning the packs to giving out coins, feels perfectly timed, accompanied by delightful sound effects. The lowdown: You have to count the coins one by one, but trying to be a quick-change badass isn't an option, which would be fun. I can say this: The music is so lighthearted and cheerful that it got me into the criminal spirit!
I especially wanted to blame the guy who made the header. Two packs?! Get out of here! You get out too!
The other side of the game is collecting the cards yourself. I like how it identifies your owner as a little card weasel, allowing you to quickly chase down customers and get the shinier ones. My first card was a happy onion called 'Sapoling'. It has 22 lives, and I have no idea if that's any good, but I'm sure it's worth every point. I did notice one little wrinkle though: it tells you the monetary value of each card as you open it. Is this what we've fallen into? Can't we just enjoy opening packs for their own sake, and not just for the amount of money they can be traded for? What happened…
Wait, hush, I bought a shiny Nimblis! $5.73, baby! Honey, come quick: we're gonna eat nice chocolate lollipops tonight!
You get your own digital folder to collect your cards, and this acts as a sort of sub-goal that works with the management stuff, as you can only stock high-level power-ups once you've upgraded your shop. You also get more furniture, game tables, and that sort of thing as you progress. And yes, the game couldn't help itself: some of your customers have giant green cartoon scent clouds that interfere with your other customers' experience. A missed opportunity for a Powerwash Simulator mini-game in my opinion.
There's a prologue on Steam if you want to try it out, and even just from a quick browse I'm starting to see how popular it is. It's beautifully made, charming, and nostalgic in every way. You can even leave the store and wander around, but there's an invisible wall preventing me from going to get a cheap pizza, which I consider an act of violence.